Shattered
by SamNny
Summary: Forever wasn't always guaranteed. SatoRisa


Forever was never guaranteed. I thought I knew that when I was being used as a host. All it would have taken was one act of disobedience and my whole world would have been lost. But it seems that now that he's been sealed away, I can feel my life draining, slipping away from me. And yet... it wasn't a bad thing. I felt nothing negative or horrible about this at all. It wasn't painful and for some odd reason, I didn't feel sad or scared. It was as if I trusted whatever was happening to me.

I tried to talk to Daisuke about it, but he didn't really understand. I asked him if he felt the same way after Dark disappeared, but he said he didn't. In fact, he felt the opposite sensation. So even though my life fading away doesn't bother me, the fact that it's only happening to me does. I tried to ask Kosuke, Daisuke's father, and Daiki, his grandfather, but they had no answers for me. I thanked them anyway and began searching for answers on my own.

I used every resource at my disposal - the computer, books from our family library, government information that would lead me to anyone in my biological family - but it all led me nowhere. My mother and father died when I was a child and any other family I had died long before them. If I learned anything, it was that my family has a history of dying young. But it still didn't add up and that really, _really _bothered me.

The answer didn't have to be logical or fair; I just wanted to know that there was one. I feel like maybe if I can find out why I'm destined to die, then I can more readily accept my fate. Please, do not misunderstand - I have no desire to die, I feel no more sorrow or overwhelming pain, and I have people in my life who genuinely care for me - so I do not wish to end my existence. And if my research led me to a way to save myself, I would most certainly do it.

Before this mess began, I had found a lot of peace of mind. It was very sudden, but it was very welcome. It was a tremendous weight was lifted off my shoulders when Krad was sealed away. The pressure to maintain a stoic and cold façade was finally over and I was free to be the person I always wanted to be. Granted, I couldn't change overnight, but I felt an instant change from caged to relaxation. I loosened up quickly, although old habits die hard, and it took a lot of training from Daisuke to smile and laugh again.

I found myself finally being able to enjoy the time I spent with my friends and I was able to take real pride in my job. Chasing after Dark gave me a purpose and quite the thrill, but it left me empty at the end of each day. I knew from the beginning I was never going to catch him, but I still had to try. I don't miss being out after midnight searching for him and I certainly don't miss setting up a perimeter around the building or area where he was supposed to arrive. He made a fool out of me and the entire police force every time he got away.

I really got to see myself improve when Daisuke invited me to hang out with him and the Harada twins, though. I learned a multitude of things all at once when they were around. I got to observe Daisuke in his relationship with Miss Harada and how two people were supposed to act when they were in love. I got to observe the bond between two sisters whenever the twins would argue or laugh together. They had a different kind of friendship than Daisuke and I. And I got to observe the bond that formed between people who really care for each other. However, the best thing I got to do was no to observe, but to _experience _it for myself. They included me in their plans, let me into their world, told me their stories, and made me feel like I was a part of something.

However, I began to withdraw again when this dying thing started. The moment I noticed myself getting seemingly weaker and weaker, I couldn't help but feel isolated again. No one treated me any different, and this really wasn't a bad thing, but it was still something that no one else understood. When I asked Daisuke about it and he told me he hadn't experienced anything like it, I knew I had to go this alone. He was the only other one out there that had gone through anything close to what I had. If he didn't understand, then no one would.

I was oddly O.K. with that, despite the feeling of loneliness I would get sometimes, but even that wasn't so bad. This was far better than still living with that monster inside of me. So I tried to force myself to step away from my digging and try and bring myself back to what I had. Everyone seemed happy to have me back and I knew that Daisuke had told them what I told him, because they welcomed me back without question. I was glad to see them smiling at me, but something seemed off. Miss Harada, although smiling, seemed different. As if she was troubled by something.

We made plans to have dinner at Daisuke's that night and watch movies together. After we ate and got through the first movie, I noticed that Daisuke and Miss Harada had fallen asleep next to me. Miss Harada giggled quietly and signaled me to follow her. I followed her upstairs and watched as she opened a door to what I believe was the hall closet. She grabbed a blanket from inside and told me to run downstairs and cover them up. I thought she was out of her mind, seeing as how they would both get in trouble if her or Daisuke's parents found out they slept all night on the couch, but she calmed me before I could say anything.

"Shh, relax. Riku and I aren't staying. It's only nine, our driver won't be here for another hour, so why not let them sleep?"

I nodded in understanding as I went back downstairs. I draped the blanket over them and watched as they snuggled closer together. They looked peaceful and relaxed, more so than I had ever seen them. I guess being in love does that to people. I looked around, but didn't see Miss Harada anywhere. I went back upstairs, but I didn't see her in the hallway either. I looked around for her and saw Daisuke's door slightly cracked open. So I peeked inside and saw her out on the balcony.

I slowly walked up behind her and slid open the door to join her. I was about to ask her what was wrong, but once again, she beat me to it.

"I'm fine. I didn't feel like putting in another movie, and I didn't want to wake them, so I thought coming out here would be a nice idea."

I didn't really know what to say to her, so Ieaned over the railing like she was and sighed before staring out at the sky. It was dark, but it only emphasized the beauty of the night. The stars were shining brightly, the moon had a magnificent glow to it, and the city twinkled below, completely basked in radiating light. I never noticed things as beautiful as this until I became free. It was strange, but I appreciated it nonetheless.

I looked over for just a moment and caught Miss Harada staring at me. She was smiling lightly before she giggled and looked away. I was confused and immediately began blushing, thinking that maybe I had a stupid look on my face this whole time. I caught her peeking at me from the corner of my eye, so out of pure curiosity, I had to ask her what was so funny.

"What?"

She giggled and stared at the sky again, almost like she was refusing to look at me. She took a deep breath and sighed as she pondered her response.

"It's nothing, really. I promise I wasn't laughing _at_ you. I guess I was just... happy to see you so relaxed. You must really like this view."

I couldn't help but be even more confused. Where did this come from all of a sudden? She was acting very unusual, not at all like her normal self. The girl that I know is always smiling, happy, bubbly, and bouncing off the walls. She's typically full of childlike wonder, but this girl... was not normal. She was way too calm and thoughtful.

"I don't know what you've done with Miss Harada, but if you don't mind, I'd like her back."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?"

That was starting to sound like her.

"Nothing, it's just that you were so... serious. It was unnatural, so I asked for the Miss Harada I knew back. I guess it worked."

"I can be serious, too, you know. I'm not always sunshine and butterflies."

"I'm well aware, but whenever you're not, it's usually due to something troubling you. Care to fill me in on the details?"

She seemed a little shocked by my observation, but then she smiled and realized that it's part of my job to be extremely aware of people and their patterns of behavior. I saw her eyes soften as she backed away from the railing and turned around to lean against it again. She stared up at the roof now and I couldn't help but notice how nice she looked in the light. Her brown locks of hair were held back in a high ponytail and the wind softly tousled it around. Her chocolate eyes shimmered brightly, and her pink lips looked very defined and... soft. Just like her smooth, perfect skin, they were soft.

I was starting to weird myself out, so I looked away from her and back out towards the city. Despite the fact that everyone should be sleeping, their porch lights were still on, lighting any late night wanders way. I couldn't help but wonder, though... who would be out this late at night? It was a Tuesday, after all. Then again, the twins were here this late and we had school tomorrow, so I guess... oh, whatever. It's not really important.

"Daisuke told Riku and I what you said."

I casually glanced in her direction and noticed that she was still was facing the opposite direction, but... her eyes that were shimmering just a moment ago seemed to be glossier. And not in the flattering kind of way.

"I figured he did by the way you guys greeted me. I'm sorry that I let myself get so wrapped up in my research that I let myself drift away from you. I didn't realize how much you guys cared."

"I wasn't sad about that."

"You weren't?"

"Well, yes, it made me sad to never see you anymore. I thought for awhile there that you were retreating back to your old self. But for some reason, when Daisuke told me what you said, I became even sadder. I don't want you to die, Hiwatari."

I'm not going to lie; I was very shocked to hear her say that. I didn't suspect that she hated me, or wanted me dead, but I didn't think the news would bother her like this. I started to get a painful, tight feeling in my chest when I saw her eyes gloss over even more and I could see tears were beginning to form. Suddenly this dying thing was becoming bad. But why?

"Miss Harada, I don't-"

"Risa."

"I'm sorry?"

"You can call me Risa. We are friends after all. And if you really are going die, I would like to hear you say my name at least once."

Tears silently rolled down her cheeks and my heart ached and ached even more. There was a part of me that wanted to breakdown and cry, too, but there was another part of me that was angry. Angry that my dying was causing her to feel so bad. Angry that I was responsible for her tears. I couldn't explain why I felt that way, but I did. Still, I forced myself to keep my composure and I did my best to calm and reassure her.

"Right, well, you see... I can't really explain it. My research has led me nowhere, but I know for a fact that if there was a way to save myself, I would do it. I don't want to die, I have no reason to. I like my life now that I'm free to live it. Ever since being released, I've felt nothing but peace and happiness. You have no idea how happy it's made me to spend time with Daisuke, Miss Harada, and you. I don't want to die without knowing why, and that's why I started to isolate myself again. I spent too much time trying to find my answer that I forgot to enjoy what I had. If I couldn't find out in time, I would have wasted the rest of my life running in circles."

She was quiet for a long time and I could feel my inner turmoil growing stronger and stronger with each passing second. I don't remember when she became so important, but I guess somewhere along the way, she did. I kept having flashbacks to the day Daisuke and I were freed. I remember him and Miss Harada running to each other and hugging. They gazed into each other's eyes like some cheesy romance movie. Miss Harada and I stood by the cliff's edge and stared at the sunset together. We had a moment of our own where our eyes met and we smiled at each other. It felt oddly warm and I remember that being the first truly happy moment I had in a long time.

When Daisuke had me hang out with her and her sister, there was a lot of time where they would be stuck to each other. I expected it, of course, and so did she. We often found ourselves left alone for short periods of time, or we ended up having to have our own conversation because we couldn't get into theirs. It wasn't bad or awkward, really. It was... a slow development, I suppose. Without even realizing it, we became closer, and we formed a friendship of our own.

I had always noticed how beautiful she was. That never changed. She would always be gorgeous. But I slowly found out how insecure and shy she was, and without admitting it, I found it adorable that a girl like her had worries about her image. I remember arguing with her about it one night and we ended up having an awkward moment of silence afterwards. She broke it by telling a stupid joke, and that's when I found out how funny she was. Later, I learned more and more about her. She was smart, creative, kind, ambitious, and even sort of brave. I didn't really pay attention to that until now. It all hit me right now.

I looked back at her and saw her standing upright, facing me with her arms gently folded, and her bangs were lightly hanging in her face, over her eyes. She was looking at me with that sad look, but then she smiled that beautiful smile that only she can do. She slowly walked towards me, seemingly trying to be careful as if she would startle me. I watched as she inched closer and closer until we were chest to chest. She wrapped her tiny arms around me, tears freely flowing down her pretty face, and sighed. In complete and utter shock, I just stood there in a daze, eyes wide, and mouth hanging open.

"I'm going to miss you, Hiwatari. I'm really glad that we got to became friends. You're the most amazing person I've ever met. I'm sorry if this makes you feel awkward, but I really just... wanted to hug you."

I felt tears form at the brim of my eyes and I did nothing to hold them back as I slowly wrapped my arms around her waist and breathed her in. The wind blew her hair in my face and it smelled like sweet jasmine. I rubbed my hand gently over her back and smiled into her neck. I didn't care how this looked, I didn't bother to wonder about her gasp, all I knew was that her body was lightly trembling, and I was trying to hold her steady.

"I'm really happy to hear you say that... Risa."

She squeezed me tightly and her whole body shook as she sobbed. She clutched on to me tighter as if I would disappear any second. Little did I know that my body began glowing a bright white color and tiny little light orbs began to float away from me. I opened my eyes to see myself start to disappear and I began to panic frantically. This girl, this beautiful girl, was crying out desperately for me not to go. I didn't know what to do; I couldn't grab at the light and make it stay. I felt more tears fall and my mind went blank. The next thing I knew, my hands grabbed her shoulders and shoved her away, before grabbing her again. My eyes slammed shut as I moved towards her and then...

I felt something warm against my lips. It was soft, small, and it tasted like lip gloss. Petrified, I slowly opened my tear-stained eyes and saw the most wonderful sight before me. I was standing in front of Risa, my hands still gripping tightly to hers, and her eyes were closed, and our lips... they were connected. I was kissing her.

After a few more seconds of taking in what was happening, I pulled away from her. I watched as she slowly opened her eyes and smiled in relief at me. I was confused, but it made sense when she hugged me tight. I was no longer glowing, no more light was leaving me, and my eyes immediately went to the sky. Somehow that kiss - _her _kiss - kept me here. I saw Daisuke standing in the doorway, eyes half open, and a smile on his face. Miss Harada was right behind him with the same expression.

"That explains it."

"What does?"

"The reason I didn't feel my life slipping away. I was able to remain here because I had found my Sacred Maiden before Dark disappeared. You hadn't found yours yet, so you were going to die. You're the last of the Hikari's and without someone to love, your life was meaningless. The light was being taken from you. Judging by the looks of things, I'd say you get to keep it, and you'll live a happy and wonderful life."

I was amazed, bewildered even by his words. When did he become so wise? I suppose that wasn't really important. What was important was staying right here with Risa in my arms. We gazed at each other just like Daisuke and Miss Harada had done and we shared another kiss of our own. Unfortunately, it wouldn't last. A knock was heard downstairs and we all knew it was the twin's driver come to pick them up.

Daisuke and Riku were already heading downstairs before we even got the chance to register everything that just happened. I watched as they shut his bedroom door, leaving us out on the balcony. As overjoyed as I was to be here with her, I couldn't help but still be confused. Since when was I destined to have a Sacred Maiden? The Hikari family has never had the need for such a thing, because Krad always stopped them. Krad allowed my ancestors to mate with someone and bear a child so he could live on, but he never let them find someone they truly loved. Love didn't matter. Is that why I was going to die? Because Krad was now _gone_ and there was no one to force a partner on me to bear children with? Daisuke was right... my life had been deemed meaningless.

I looked down to see Risa smiling up at me and I suddenly didn't care anymore. All that mattered now was that I had someone in my life that loved me and that I also had someone to love. Someone to teach me to be human again and show me how to treat others with kindness and respect. Not that fake crap I used to pull - that was so called politeness. No, she was going to have to teach me the true meaning of respect, kindness, and love. The thought actually made me excited.

I kept my eyes locked with hers for just a moment longer before leaning in and kissing her forehead. I let go of her arms, not realizing I had still been gripping them, and reached for her hand. I lead her downstairs and said goodbye with Daisuke and watched as they drove away. Daisuke gave me a relieved smile. He seemed to also be very happy that I wasn't going to die.

"You seem rather happy."

"Well, of course. Not only is my best friend not going to die, but he also found his Sacred Maiden. What's better than that?"

"I'll tell you what is. Getting some shut-eye."

He laughed at me and my suddenly tired form. I guess almost dying took more out of me than I thought. He let me stay the night with him, thank God, and then that next morning, we set out to spend the entire day with our Sacred Maidens.

"You know, it's going to take me awhile to get used having her around like this."

"Yeah, but you wanna know something else?"

"What?"

"It'll take you a lot longer to get used to life without her."

For some reason, that didn't really bother me. No, it wasn't a bad thing at all.

* * *

"A/N: Yes, I finally did another SatoRisa fic! This fandom seems to be dying, so I thought I'd try and bring it back to life. This story came to me on a whim after listening to Shattered by Trading Yesterday. The song just screamed Hiwatari's name and I had to write this. Anyway, I hope you like this story. Let me know in a review."


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